"I learned my lessons and embraced my blessing." - Cleo Sol
First thing first: Fuck Tom Cruise. Fuck Scientology and any organization (or religion) created to abuse and hold powers over its devotees. The documentary Going Clear is what has inspired this rant. This is the eighth hundred documentary I’ve watched about (white) men with "good intentions" that somehow turn into abuse, rape, and manipulation. This documentary was so bad that I couldn’t even watch it in a single setting. White people are fucking crazy.
Since they can no longer legally enslave and abuse us. Some of them have taken it upon themselves to enslave their counterparts. All under the disguise of self-improvement, religion, and the “greater” good. The first time I saw this was when I watched Wild Wild Country on Netflix. I thought this was just something that happened in “that” day and age. You know, during the "hippie" love and peace era. But The Vow proved me wrong. I still can’t understand for the life of me how a "self-improvement course” turned into a sex cult. But it’s not just limited to the lecture halls. The Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator documentary proved that abuse of power could happen inside a yoga room. Women can’t even go to yoga training without questioning people's intentions.
It appears to be an overwhelming pattern of men obtaining power and abusing it. It makes me wonder if it’s the power that changes these men or the men themselves? Or is it just that people believe to have power and respect, you have to evoke fear and intimidation? When in our evolution as humans did we give up on love? When did people start to believe that empathy, mercy, and emotion were signs of weakness, not strength? Like everything in life, I think it all goes back to the beginning.
Since the dawn of time, we have heard the story about how God created Earth. He then made a man and a woman for that man- so that the man will never be alone. God recognized the harm in man operating all on his own. So he created these two individuals for balance. God's only “rule” for this couple was not to touch the fruit from the “forbidden” tree. Now, either this was the first lie that was ever told. Or it was the first mistake that God ever made. And since God doesn’t make any mistakes, I'm going to go with it being a lie.
Why would God say, "Go, create and multiply. But don’t touch this tree?” Why would God put the tree there in the first place if it was “forbidden”? I do not have children, but I know that if I don't want a child to touch something, I'm not going to just say don’t touch it. I’m going to put it completely out of their reach. Especially if it will potentially put that child in danger. We have all witness telling a kid not to do something, only for them to turn around and do that exact same thing. It’s only until they understand why not to touch it or get burnt, do they truly learn.
So I can’t imagine God placing his children in a play-pen next to a stove, then punishing one of them when they get burnt. Why would God set up his children to fail? Nonetheless, this is the story that has been told. God placed Adam and Eve inside the Garden. Then Eve was tempted by the snake and ate from the “forbidden” tree. Making Eve, the woman, the downfall of the entire human race. If this doesn’t sound like some man-made bullshit! And yet, we have based our entire existence on this fucked up tale. This tale was created to do two things: (1) Put the fear of God in us so that we will believe that God is vengeful and restrictive and (2) Put the fear of women in men! So they will believe that women are wild and must be controlled. (Because clearly, she can’t even listen to God!)
Thus creating not only division within our homes, but disconnection from our God source. This has been the lie that has been the downfall of humanity. All because a group of old egotistical men wanted to have power and control. Since a little girl, I have always felt close to God. I told you all about being in the Baby Church singing“Yes, Jesus Loves Me” and truly believing that Jesus loved me. But I didn't love Christianity. I didn't like the fear imparted on me every Sunday and I damn sure didn’t like the constant guilt of being a doomed sinner.
It wasn’t until I read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller that I realized my questions and reservations were valid. In the book, what stuck with me the most, was how he described Jesus. He was not some benevolent spiritual being. He was just a regular person who decided to tap into his God-given potential. To me, that idea was revolutionary. To know that Jesus was just like me made me feel like I can do amazing things. I was always taught that Jesus was damn near like God. Yes, I know the stories in the bible are based on “real” life experiences. But I was always under the impression that this was a "one-time" occurrence, not something that anybody can achieve. I found myself both relieved and conflicted.
I’ve spent so much of my life feeling guilty for listening to hip-hop or having pre-marital sex. It wasn’t until it hit me that if Jesus were alive in this day and age, he would be struggling with this shit too! Even after reading the book and having my own spiritual experiences, I still felt a little guilt. It was until I read Conversations with God did I feel entirely free. Whether it’s truly “God” he’s talking too, is up for a debate. But a lot of information in the book rang true to my soul, especially the passage below. At the beginning of the book, Neale asked God about the “should’s” and “should not's” of the world and got the following response: