The Truth: For When You Feel Depression or Fear

"But time doesn't go back, it goes forward. Don't rush from the pain, run towards it." -Jay-Z



I Do Not Own This Art

What if I told you there is no such thing as good or bad? What if I told you there is no such thing as fear, and it's only an illusion? Does it sound crazy? Is there a small part of you that kept reading that sentence? It's because deep down, you know it's true. You were given a script of everything that will happen in your life before you agreed to come into this body. You knew exactly the role you would play, what would happen, and you signed the agreement. In the fine-print, you agreed to come into this body without knowing this information. You trusted that your body would guide you and give you all the information you needed to grow. 




Life is a game of mirrors, projections, and levels. To advance to the next level, you must master your current. If you don't get the lesson, then you stay stuck in the level. And repeat it over and over again. In your game, you were given a family, to guide, and activate lessons in your life. So, if you grew up in a household where you were not protected, supported, or guided- your mission (if so you choose to accept it) is for you to learn how to give those things to yourself and then to teach others. That means some people come to Earth to be assholes. Unfortunately, everyone did not come to Earth to live their best life this time around. How do you know if that's you? Life is a game of mirrors, projections, and levels. To advance to the next level, you must master your current. If you don't get the lesson, then you stay stuck in the level. And repeat it over and over again. In your game, you were given a family, to guide, and activate lessons in your life. So, if you grew up in a household where you were not protected, supported, or guided- your mission (if so you choose to accept it) is for you to learn how to give those things to yourself and then to teach others. That means some people come to Earth to be assholes. Unfortunately, everyone did not come to Earth to live their best life this time around. How do you know if that's you?




Only you can answer that question. When you go to work, wake up in the morning, are you happy? I'm not saying that your jumping for joy, but is there a level of contentment? If you like your life if you don't feel like anything is missing. That is fine. You don't have to force yourself to change or grow. Relax and enjoy your life. If you are experiencing this, it means that you are playing your role and your soul is at peace. But if you are frequently irritated, going to work in tears or just wondering what if? Then you have your answer. Your body is giving you your answer. 

If you are depressed, then it is a sign that you're not in the flow with the universe and that' it's time for you to make some changes. Depression, sadness, irritation is our body's way of telling us, something is wrong, not that you are wrong. 




I was recently listening to Devi Brown's podcast with Schoolboy Q, and she said, "Depression is just a warning from God that it's time to level up and do something different." Society has conditioned us to believe that depression is terrible. So, when that feeling starts to creep up, we push it down. We think it's a sign that we need to get out of the house more, drink more, party more- do anything to stop from feeling that feeling. The truth is, this is a sign to do the exact opposite. It's a sign to go within, examine your life, and see what's wrong. 

Every single emotion comes up to tell us something- our only job is to listen to them. Not stop or shut your feelings out. The best example of this is the movie Inside Out. If you haven't seen the movie, it's literally about emotions inside of a little girl. She has joy, sadness, anger, and disgust. When things start to fall apart in the small girl world, Joy feels like it's her job to make things right. While sadness wants to deal with the fact that what is happening is sad. A lot of us are like Joy, trying to do everything in our power to make things "right/fun/happy" when our lives are falling apart.




We refuse to pause and acknowledge what is happening. Instead, we do anything to fill the void. But like the movie revealed, sometimes the best remedy is a little sadness and a cry to properly process our emotions.  A lot of us are caged in fear, aka, a mirror of our illusions. Have you seen the new Spiderman? I'll try not to spoil the movie for you, but it's the best example of the power of illusions, which was the villain's superpower.

Initially, I thought this was a lame-ass power. But after seeing it in action, I realize that illusion is the most potent superpowers there is, and we live in a world full of them. Your "fear" is nothing more than an estimate of what your brain think is going to happen. And guess where your brain is drawing this information from- the bank of your past experiences. 




That means that your fears are only there because it's something new. Your brain doesn't know what to expect, so it projects fear, an illusion. A lot of us allow the fear to stop us and block us in. If we could only trust ourselves, our Spidey-tingle, then we can recognize it's an illusion (something that can't hurt us) and can find our way out. How much of your life have you lived in fear? How many times have you allowed "what you think will happen," stop you from actually something? Your fear isn't based on facts or universal knowledge- it's merely your projections from your past.

The next time you feel fear, feel it, acknowledge that you are doing something new- but do the shit anyway! Don't stay stuck in the room of illusions. 




And if that feeling of depression creeps up. Know that God (the universe), loves you so much that instead of leaving you in a shitty, dead-end situation, it's signaling you to make a change. Feel that feeling, spend some time alone, and do some journaling.

Then get ready for your level up!



-AM

JOURNAL PROMPT: 

  • Make a list of the things you would love to do. On the other side, list the things you're afraid to do. Compare the list, is fear stopping you? 

  • Think about the times that you felt fear and did the "it" anyway? What were the results? Was the concern validate? 

  • What are my feelings trying to tell me? What triggered me to feel this way?


Until Next Time: 

“Dream them dreams. Then man-up and live them dreams, because a life without dreams is black and white. And the universe flows in technicolor and surround-sound.”- The Late Great Combat Jack!

© 2018 by Amber C. Sillmon 45601 S Interstate 94 Service DR #2762, Belleville, MI 48112