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Rose & Thorn: What 2019 Taught ME


During my mentoring days, we did an ice breaker called "Rose and Thorn," where we got the kids to tell us the highlight of their day, as well as the lowlight. The exercise is designed for them to see that for every victory, there's a failure somewhere in the distance. To let them know that no matter how hard it rains, there will always be a rainbow behind the clouds. Below is our garden of roses for 2019. We hope it makes you think about your garden and what you want to plant for 2020!

Rose: I’m somebody’s auntie! Specifically, Lake Elaine Lovelace born on 9/18/19. She’s my first niece and the first baby in my immediate family, like ever. So obviously, she is the most amazing and perfect baby ever. Duh. This past year has been a downer for me, but her arrival has been the brightest light of my 2019.

Thorn: The uncertainty that seems to have taken up residence in the back of my mind. Somewhere along the way, I stopped trusting myself, and I let that uncertainty seep into all the decisions I made, especially ones I didn't dare to make. But on the bright side…my self-awareness has been activated, and I am a work in progress.

Rose: I got a promotion at my job, but I quit months later with no plan. I bounced back less than two weeks later with a new job.

Thorn :I’ve been in a roller-coaster relationship with my on and mostly off, ex-boyfriend of 7 years. He's hurt me & I foolishly forgave him. I'll learn one day. My father has had some medical issues and surgery, but that is to be expected with his medical problems. This year was bland, nothing significant happened, and nothing horrible happened.

Rose: The Year 2019 taught me to be more open because, ultimately, I create my own experiences. I realized I'm responsible for my happiness, and that shit is not going to stop happening to me. But it's up to me to figure out why that thing is happening for me and not to me.

Thorn:I have fucked up a few times this year, but instead of beating myself up about it, I'm choosing to give myself grace and try to do better with my next 24 hours.

Rose: I bought my license to my LLC called Nothing Is Wasted, I am now working on managing my blog (More to come!).

Thorn: Heartbreak. I realized that I needed to let go of someone unwilling to love me how I needed to be loved. I had to understand that it was not meant to be, and he was not my happily ever after. No matter how hard I tried to make him be.

Rose: This year wasn’t a hoe, but the best part of my year was when five women agreed to come on-board as contributing writers for Honestly Sis. As Ne-Yo, once said, “I’m a movement by myself, but we’re a force when we’re together.” These women have allowed me to see the true potential of Honestly Sis. I’m more focused and motivated than ever!

Thorn: I faced my biggest fears- being alone. I made a conscious effort of where I was putting my energy. I got dumped by the love of my life, got rejected from everything I applied too, but the hardest thing was stopping communication with my parents. I did it, not as a final "fuck you" to them - but to stand up, protect and (finally) nurture Baby Am. I'm taking this time to learn how to live, love, and accept them (my parents) for exactly who they are- without them making a single change. I only have this life to live and for once in my life, I'm doing what feels right, not what is right.


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