"He'll give us what we need. It may not be what we want." — Kanye West , On Sight
I'm a planner. It's a term I now use for writing. I have spent hours outlining every twist and turn for my novel, before I even started writing. After my horrible first draft, I vowed to always know where my story was heading. I would be a plotting author. Up until about four years ago, I applied this very same mindset to life. At the tender age of seventeen, I was had life all mapped out. I literally had everything planned down to an engagement ring, possible wedding dates and a romantic proposal. When I reached undergrad graduation, I had no engagement ring, no college sweetheart and overwhelming anxiety to start my new career. Adulting taught me quickly, I didn't know shit. You plan, God laughs.
Thank God for Podcasts! Listening to podcasts has been a true godsend. It's almost like God created podcasts to save me from myself! They have become it's own form of therapy. Podcast have allowed for me to see myself reflected in others. To step back and see situations from a different point of view. Be it good, bad or a little crazy. This has led me to breaking false truths and correct misguided ideologies. My favorite podcasts tends to fall into one or two categories: They either tell stories about people and their life journeys. Or they provide you with tools to help navigate your journey. Podcasts essentially help guide me through the Quarter Life Crisis. It was proof that I wasn't alone in my experiences.
Hours of podcasts has helped me developed new truths. The biggest one, was learning the journey to your best life isn’t a straight path. For many, their journey took twists and turns. For others, it was like a head-on collisions. Either way, it confirmed to me that there are no mistakes in life. Every single choice is leading us down the path to our best life. There is no need to regret choices of the past. It's in the past. I learned that we are never stuck. We just have to be willing to die to old truths.
Here are some of the new truths podcasts has helped me adopt:
It’s good to have a vision for your life, but timelines ultimately lead to disappointment. During a marathon listen of Myleik’ s Podcast, I noticed a common theme. There were women who didn’t plan to have the “dream life”. But it happened anyway. These women had an vision for what they wanted in life. But they didn't give it a time limit. They also didn't panic (too) much when things didn't go as planned. They were able to be flexible and allow life to unfold in a natural way. Then happily ever after found them. For longer than I care to admit- I thought that you had to choose between a having a family or having an amazing career. There have been times where I intentionally didn't go after something, because I didn't want a boyfriend to feel a type of way. I really thought I had to choose. Now I know love shouldn’t stop you from going after your dreams. No one should have to die to themselves to live in love. The truth is: You can have it all.
Be scared and do it anyway. Dreams in Drive. There were many guest who admitted they didn't know what they were doing in the beginning. But by doing the work, they found a way to make things happen. Some businesses started as a solution to a problem. Others were just a passion project. The common denominator was action. This taught me it's ok to not know everything on day one or day hundred and one. You only have to focus on the step that is in front of you. The truth is: Taking the first step towards doing something is better than constantly thinking about it and taking no steps at all. If I sat around worrying about how my book would get published - I wouldn't have a book or be writing. One can only truly learn by doing.
Chase the Feeling. This is a combination of The Call and Magic Lessons. Your passion is not going to be spelled out. It probably won’t even be what you think it is, but it will always feels right. Your brain will overthink things but your gut will never lead you astray. Ten years ago, if you would have told me that I would be writing a book. Or a newsletter. I would have laughed at you. Writing is something I did for comfort and to be heard. It always felt good but it wasn't something that I thought I could do like, for real. It wasn't until I hit rock bottom, that I even paid attention to this feeling. Now I can't even imagine doing things differently. The beauty is, the idea of money or how the money will come, is something I don't even think about. I just know it will come. Instead, I embrace the feeling and focused on the purpose of my writing. Like, what am I really trying to say to the world? The truth is: “When you are purpose driven, profit will follow. When you are profit driven, you will always be hustling.”-T.D. Jakes, Breakfast Club Interview.
God will make a way. Another combo, Believing Bigger and Oprah's Super Soul Conversations. Have you ever heard a raising to success story and a person says, “Yeah I don’t know, things just start(ed) falling into place!” That’s God! We spend so much time worrying about the things we don’t have, that we never look at what's in front of us. Remember when I told you I thought I had to move out of state or go back to school? I definitely don't feel that way anymore. The moment I started doing, resources and peope just dropped into my life. Everything and person is for a reason. What I know for sure is that, nine times out of ten, the things that you think you need to get started, can be found for free or cheap. The person you think you need to hire, could actually be something you can do yourself. Embrace and love Google and YouTube University. The truth is: The idea of not having something or needing something outside of you is just another form of an excuse. Move in the direction you want to go and God will literally drop-in everything else along the way.
The moment I stopped focusing on what I didn't have, I started to make progress. When I realized no one is going to give me anything. I began to learn things. The moment I said fuck it, I started surprising myself. I stopped complaining, stop regretting my major and just moved forward. When you focus on the things you have, you have so much more. Now every day, I'm doing something to bring me closer to my dreams. And I'm happy! You design the life you want to live. There is no such thing as stuck or the “ideal age.” Do what feels right for you. Because the real gag is - no one knows what the hell they’re doing anyway.
Sis, there is no rules to life! It's just you and your journey. What are you waiting for?
Honestly Sis, is a weekly newsletter. See you next week.
We Are Our Sister's Keepers
XoXo,
AM