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When Holidays Are Tough...

“And hey, ayo, we made it: Thanksgiving, So hey, maybe we can make it to Christmas.” —Kanye West, Bound 2

I had an entire post ready for today. But as I was doing the edit, something didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel honest. It felt forced. And that would just defeat the purpose of this newsletter. My mission is to celebrate the struggle and let everyone know, it’s ok to not be ok. We all have experienced one of those day. Today, this week, shit for the past two weeks, that have been the case for me.

Art By (@Vitelo)

I know that my mood is contributed to daylights saving, PMS and just overall seasonal depression. And that’s just normal. But, on a deeper level, I’m experiencing burnout. I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious and like I bit off more than I can chew. Instead of jumping back into old patterns, beating myself up and forcing myself to push forward. I’m honoring myself and I’m listening to my body. I want to know what this feeling truly mean, so that I will never hit this wall again. And if I do, I’ll recognize it and correct it right away. I have learned that this feeling of overwhelm, is my body way of telling me to pause and re-evaluate. To look at my goals, reprioritize and put some systems in place.

But, this letter, isn’t really about me. I’m writing this to talk to you, before you head out to your families and friends house. Before you start strolling the internet and see yet another engagement or baby announcement. Sis, I know firsthand that the holidays are tough. It’s a time where you are forced to deal with all your family members. Where most feel entitled to ask you where is your man, baby, or husband. As though those things are the only true measure of success. As though those things are the very definition of you. I’m here to tell you, it is not. What I have come to realize is that our parents, aunts and most of our families are just from a different time. A time when stability and family was the only thing to hope for and go after. The idea of starting their own business or pursing their dreams, is just not something they could imagine. Or even thought was possible. They simply didn’t and don’t know better. But we do. We are of this time. This is our time. They may not understand now, but in reward season, it will all become clear.

I challenge you, to do what you want to do, this holiday season. Not what’s expected. I challenge you, not to be moved by others expectations and to remember where you are headed in life. To be present and disconnect. Spend time in your own world, with people who make you happy. Doing something that makes you smile. If the holidays drain you, do something to redefine it for yourself. Just make sure, you feel thankful and grateful while doing it! When someone asks you one of those inevitable questions, tell them to mind their damn business. Just kidding, just blow them off. Or tell them it’s more to life than having babies.

Whatever you do, don’t let them get under your skin or have you second guessing yourself. And if you need some additional courage, check out this recent speech from Aunt Tracee Ellis Ross, on this very subject. Sis, your life is your life. Don’t let anyone (including your family) define it for you.

Happy Thanksgiving. I’m so thankful that we are on this journey together. It truly means more than you will ever know. Next week, we’re back to the regularly scheduled program.

Honestly Sis, is a weekly newsletter. See you next week.

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