" Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration - moving you from negative energy to positive. "
- Oprah
What I know for sure, is that you cannot make it to the next level, without appreciating your current level. It took me a while to understand this concept. I have always been the type of person who says things like, “If only I lose twenty pounds: I will feel amazing.” Or, “Once, I’m out of Corporate America: then I’ll be happy.” Never once did I ask myself, what if this never occurs?
Does that mean I have the right to hate my life forever? The thing about statements like that, is that it only reinforces the beliefs: I’m not happy. It only validates: that I’m overweight. Neither, of those things are going to make me feel better. Neither, of these things are going to help me change my current state. Like many people, I’ve watched The Secret and Oprah’s specials on the Law of Attraction. Each time I would like walk away, excited to change my life. Each time nothing changed.
I was vision boarding, affirming, hoping and praying but nothing was “changing”. One afternoon, I was explaining my struggles with my spiritual teacher; she turned to me and said, “You have to believe it. There’s a difference between understanding and knowing.” See, I was doing all this work to better myself, all while focusing on what wasn’t changing. My actions said one thing, but my beliefs said another. Have you ever wanted something so badly, that it was all you thought about?The gift and the curse of the universe is that's exactly how it works. Which mean in my situation, the more I focused on how badly I wanted out of Corporate America. All the universe heard was:I want Corporate America.
What you give your attention to grows. You can think about it like this: Manifestation requires alignment; alignment occurs when you are in your “home frequency”. To reach your “home frequency”, you must maintain a high level of energy. To maintain a high level of energy is to eliminate or redirect negativity. Now, I know what you’re thinking? So, are you saying I must stay a 100% positive? No, that’s not even possible.
I am saying, you must learn to control your vibration by learning to control your mind.
The mind is like a magnet to the universe. Anything that we’re projecting out, by universal law, you’re going to get it back. So, if you’re in a funk, or thinking about how crappy your life is; all your doing is magnifying more negativity to you.For my church folks, this is not just limited to us crystal-loving hippies. In the bible, Philippians 4:8, says: “.... whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-mediate on these things.”
I say all this to say, you cannot constantly be negative and praying for a positive outcome. The key is not to lie to yourself and pretend that you’re happy. They key is to pay attention to your emotions. In, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, Mark Manson said, “If you feel crappy it’s because your brain is telling you that there’s aproblem that’s unaddressed or unresolved.” In other words, negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to be do something! Denying your emotions is simply denying information that your body istrying to send to you.
Here’s a real-life example: Have you watched the Red Table Talk with Will Smith? If you haven’t, Wilbert joins the table to tell the truth about him and Jada’s marriage. At one point, Will mentioned that Jada cried for forty-five days straight.
Mama Adrienne, said she didn’t understand how Jada could be unhappy with her life. Jada herself, felt that she was being ungrateful. Yet, her emotions, was telling her that something wasn’t right. I also struggled with this, I got caught up in how I thought my life was supposed to look, what people would think of me, instead of honoring what felt right and true to me.
Our emotions know us better than we know ourselves, because they know your true self.
They know all about the hopes and dreams you’re afraid to tell people. So, while Jada was trying to be the perfect wife to this megastar. Her emotions knew she wasn’t being true to herself.
Once, you have accepted and paid attention to your emotions. The next step is to make sure that your hopes matches your actions. I have a career in accounting that I do not want. I know this one a mental level, but also physically. There have been plenty of mornings, I would roll over and literally say, “Not this sh*t again.” It came to a point that I was dreading work and finding non-permanent ways to injury myself - to get more time off work. I would go into work bored out of my mind, applying for other (accounting) jobs. All while saying, I don’t want to be an accountant.
Then one day, I was on my way to a third-round interview and it finally hit me. My actions was saying, “I wanted to be an accountant.” My belief was saying, “I can only be an account.” Yet, my emotions knew that no matter how the job is dressed up, accounting, corporate, isn’t for me. My actions, despite wanting things to change, said that I wanted them to stay the same. Get, how that would keep someone in the same place? But I’m not alone, am I? How many times have you talked about wanting to lose weight? All while eating a double-double from Five Guys? My cycle was thee definition of insanity, but we all do it. We all want things but mentally self-sabotage ourselves from ever receiving it.
That’s why it’s important to train your mind. For me, that meant no matter what happen at this current job, my next job would not be in accounting. That was a small shift but not enough! There were still days that were just unbearable. What helped most was thinking about my job differently or what Oprah loves to call, “choosing another thought.” I began to look at my current job to see how it could prepare me for my future as a professional writer. I began observing my daily tasks. Daily, I’m juggling multiple projects with a variety of personalities types. I can create my own work schedule, but I must pay attention to detail and meet my deadlines. I imagine, this would be a great skill set to have as a showrunner. So whenever, I’m just not feeling it, I look in the mirror and tell myself my job is preparing me to become Baby Shonda.
Most creatives aren’t good with number while most people who are good with number, aren’t creative. Thankfully, those are my two strengths. It may seem like a long shot, but the belief that my job is preparing me to become Shonda not only help me, but completely shifts my energy on my bad days. (Along with a popping playlist! Since I’ve began to look at my job differently, I find myself appreciating the small things at my job. I realized, I couldn’t get away with half the shit I do anywhere else. So, in the grand scheme of things, this job puts me in the best possible situation. Nothing has “changed” in my life, but my attitude. Yet I feel differently, I move differently and I’m noticing writing opportunities everywhere. (Clearly, things are starting to change.)
So, what are your emotions trying to tell you? When you do feel bad, ask yourself why? Ask yourself what are you avoiding? What issues need to be solved?Remember emotions are our friends! They are here to give us information! Be aware of your thoughts and realize that you can always choose another one. It’s not about lying to yourself, it’s about gaining control of your mind. The mind is like a child, and it can be all over the place. But when you give it proper training, it’s amazing.
We often talk about trauma, that can be transferred down from generation to generation. But, it works both ways! If you take the time to re-program your mind, to listen to your emotions, to make sure your hopes match your actions; you are notonly helping your current self but the entire linage of your future family. So, if you don’t have the strength to do it for yourself, how about doing it for your grandkids? We really do have control over our lives. Whether you want to believe it or not, weare creating our reality. You can do it consciously or unconsciously, it’s truly up to you. But know it’s not by magic, it’s by believing. And that’s something we can alldo, so will you?
- HONEST AM
Until next time:
“Dream them dreams. Then man-up and live them dreams, because a life without dreams is black and white. And the universe flows in technicolor and surround-sound.”- The Late Great Combat Jack!