" Pussy Don't Fail Me Now."
- Missy Elliot
If you’ve been a part of the Honestly Sis community awhile, you may have noticed that there is one area that I haven’t talked about in a while: SEX. It’s embarrassing as hell to admit that my sex life has been in the toilet. No cheating or my partner not wanting me, it’s simply like my vagina broke and refuse to operate properly.
One thing that my partner and I enjoy a lot is each other, especially sex with each other! It’s something that we bond over and take pride in. I’ve never been one to use lube, but I noticed that I was reaching for it more often than I would like. And it bothered me! It’s not like I’m some dried up sixty-year-old! (No shade to lube users). On one hand, I felt like I was in an episode of Sex of the City, and that like Samantha; I had used up all my orgasms. While on the other hand, I felt like maybe this just happens. Not waiting to settle for my new norm. I used my new yoga poses to spice up the bedroom. (Two words, child-pose.) But it still wasn’t the same and my vaginal issues were starting to make me feel like less than a woman.
I felt as though there was something blocking me from fully expressing myself sexually. That was confirmed during two separate energy healing sessions. Each healer mentioned blockages in my sacral chakra (that area). The first healer said it was related to an abortion that I was struggling to overcome. While another stated that it was due to sexual trauma linked to my childhood. This time I knew that I had to do more than burn letters. It was time to completely clean the energy down there.
Before I go any further, let me just say: Whether you choose to acknowledge the concept of energy; it’s all around us! Everything is energy, especially us! As much as I hate that age-old saying “men are keys and women are locks”. It’s true! The act of sex is nothing but an exchange of energy and if you’re not mindful of the person you lay down with - they could leave you with something that is worse than a sexually transmitted disease. So, yeah....
I purchased my first Yoni Egg from Nirvana Wild. Now people often talk about the Yoni and it’s tightening properties. But besides strengthening your vaginal walls, it can also balance your hormones and help you reach an orgasm. Plus, when used with intention it can help connect you to your intuition, as well as help unblock and release stale stagnant energy. (Which was exactly what I used it for!) I purchased the“African Bloodstone”, which helps with healing from past trauma, increased deep connection with self, increased awareness, intuition, explosion in self-care and creative power as well as cultivating and protecting magic. Like this stone is a one stop shop and it has delivered on every promise plus some.
When I first used my yoni, it was just to sleep in it. Each time, I woke up ready to tackle my manuscript. Then I began adding it to my Yoga practice. There was no denying that my intuition was increasing and my creativity was growing. But my sex life was still just ok. One day, I’m strolling through Twitter and one of the healers I follow, mentions she’s about to start a new cleanse. For weeks, I saw her retweeting craving reviews about the cleanse. So, I instantly went to her website for more information. The cleanse was a remote one and it would be focusing on “self-sabotage”. (Sounds familiar) She mentioned that it would change the way we operate. As well as change, negative thought patterns. All of this for the low price of $10. Knowing that this is something I was struggle with- I immediately signed up. Then completely forgot about it. Fast forward, one-night my partner and I are going at it.
Like really going at it. He was enjoying me and I was enjoying the hell out of him. I felt this new type of confidence come over me. I wasn’t afraid to take control and there was absolutely no lube required. I felt alive! The next morning, I look at my calendar and realized that last night was the night of the cleanse was scheduled. But I still had doubts. I didn’t know if last night was a flute or I really got my mojo back. So, the next night we’re lying in bed watching a movie and I decide to test it again. The next thing I know, the credits are playing and it’s confirmed that my sex drive has officially made a comeback. Not only did I get my stamina back, but I feel sexier and the sex is better than ever. I’m not going to front, sometimes the shit feels like a spiritual experience.
Danielle had another cleanse going on at the end of the year. I instantly, signed up both myself and my partner. I can’t explain the science behind how the cleanse work, all I know is that it works! In fact, the other day my partner comes in the house like, “You know Am, I just feel different. Like something changed.” Then he turns to me and say, “Didn’t you sign me up for something?”
I can’t tell you if it was the yoga, the yoni, the cleanse or the combination of all three- that help revived my sex life. But what I can tell you, is I feel like a brand- new woman and the drought is officially over!
Until next time:
“Dream them dreams. Then man-up and live them dreams, because a life without dreams is black and white. And the universe flows in technicolor and surround-sound.”- The Late Great Combat Jack!
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